Memory, or for me, loss of, is today’s topic over at Momalom’s 5 for ten. I actually wrote a post a few months back, part of my Stay-at-Home Mom series, which is perfect for this topic. So in honor of today’s topic, I’m republishing it. Enjoy!

I don’t know how this happened, but I have zero memory. It’s bad. Really bad. At least once, but probably closer to 3-978 times a day, I stare blankly at Dad-oo, my computer or just into space trying to remember what I was supposed to do. Or who I was going to call. Or simply trying to figure out the word that is escaping me, but teasing me by popping in and out of my head over and over and over. I feel like I’m searching through my brain, and it’s filled with this gaping holes where my memory used to be.

Dad-oo and I joke that it is lingering pregnancy brain, but is is supposed to still be hanging around 21 months after I gave birth? That just doesn’t seem fair. My body was stretched all out of proportion (never to return to the quite same shape), I was kicked forcefully from the inside for at least 5 months, I had my organs all squished up together, and then I gave birth (I’ll spare you the gory details on that one). And now this.

For whatever reason, it seems to have gotten worse since I made the transition to a stay-at-home mom. You would think it would get better, now that I don’t have to juggle my work life and my home life. But it seems to have had the opposite effect. Possibly because juggling just my home life includes, but is not limited to, the following: meal planning, grocery lists, Book Babies, grocery shopping, breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner, playgroups, laundry, cleaning, more cooking, another playgroup, music time, work, more breakfasts, lunches, snacks and dinners, yet another load of laundry (when will it ever end!!!), letting the dogs out for the first time since 7:00 this morning, feeding them, yelling at them, giving them love for the yelling, another playgroup, breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner, cleaning up after any given meal, bath time (crap, when was the last time the kiddo had a bath?), and yes, a final playgroup. Oh crap, I forgot about the one million things I need to pick up from Target. Again. That’s probably the 10th I’ve been there this week. And those are just the things that I can remember today.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does it ever get better? Or do you simply lose more and more brain cells with each child?

Don’t forget about the Thank Your Journal carnival starting this week. I hope to see you there.

Memory…or Loss Of is a post from: Alli 'n Son

We’re less than one week away from the official second birthday and it’s like some threw the switch. Goodbye good natured, happy-all-the-time toddler. Hello tantrum-at-the-drop-of-the-hat, cry-over-nothing little boy. Can someone please send my sweet little boy back? Please? Pretty please? Come on, I said the magic word.

I don’t even know where to start. Here’s a quick list of the triggers that I’ve noted so far (and this is just in the last few days).

1. Changing stinky pants (our pet name for diapers) first thing in the morning instead of just letting him run around with a full nights diaper. Ewwww.
2. Not carrying him to the kitchen after I wrestle him to the ground for stinky pants changing.
3. Attempting to put his shoes on.
4. Having the nerve to put his jacket on.
5. Making him leave the house for a playgroup (which he loves going to). He actually screams “I don’t wanna” all the way to the car and for the first 5 minutes of the drive.
6. Asking him to eat his lunch.
7. Asking him to eat his dinner.
8. Requesting that he walk into a store instead of being carried by me. This often results in a breakdown in the parking lot or sidewalk, with others giving me the evil eye as they pass by.
9. Changing his diaper at any point during the day. Maybe he’s ready for some serious potty training?

I’m sure there are more, but my brain can’t process all of them at the moment.

I need help.

I’ve gone through my list of ways to avoid tantrum. I’ve bribed (if you eat all of your turkey, you can have a Gogurt for dessert). I’ve threatened (if you don’t want to eat your lunch, then that means it’s nap time). I’ve had pretty good success with both. Although I’m not a fan of bribing. I guess you gotta do whatever works.

But I’m struggling with getting the kiddo dressed and into the car without a mammoth-sized melt down. I’ve tried giving hi a 10 minute and 5 minute warning, so he knows what’s coming next. That just results in two or three times the number of breakdowns. I’ve tried causally getting his shoes and jacket on super early, without mentioning where we are going, with limited success. But now he’s catching on. I’ve tried just cornering him, struggling to get him ready, picking him up like a sack of potatoes and lugging him off to the car. Not a fan, it causes both of us stress and tears for at least one of us.

What do I do? How do I make the transition from home to our next activity easier? I’m at a loss and could really use some wisdom.
This post is linked up with Your Life. Your Blog. over at Real Life.

The Terrible Twos is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Well hello!  It’s been a while since I’ve guest posted but my lovely wife made the mistake of giving me a username and password so I’m back.  I figured I’d give my perspective about living with a SAHM, or at least this particular one.

First of all it is very comforting to know that Eli is with Allison all day.  Don’t get me wrong we had wonderful daycare providers and they did a great job with Eli, but now if I want to know how he’s doing or what they are doing together I can just call or better yet use Google Chat to ask.  Sometimes she even responds! On top of that they can visit me at work or I can stop by and see them at lunch if I want to.

It’s also nice to know that staying at home with Eli makes her so happy.  I don’t mean that it’s not a challenge at times or she and Eli are having a party every day all day…oh man, I bet they’re partying every day with out me.  I quit work!  I want to party!  No seriously though, even though staying at home makes her happy that doesn’t mean it’s easy.  So one thing I have had to get used to is coming home to a usually exhausted, sometimes unresponsive and occasionally extra sassy wife.  Wait is “extra sassy” a synonym for “crabby”?  No?  Then I mean crabby.

So my weeknights are filled with a hyper toddler and a tired mother who is usually very willing to hand me the aforementioned toddler for some bonding time with Dad-oo.  They are also filled with a lot more organization than usual with all the planned meal lists, momma and Eli activities and bedtime rituals.  What is really great is to hear and see everything Eli is learning and know that he is doing so right at home with his family.

I guess I can summarize by saying that living with a SAHM is the comfort of knowing that Eli is romping around town with his mother, a wife who is happier and more fulfilled spending the days raising Eli, and a Dad-oo who gets to spend the majority of my nights jabbering with a toddler about today’s toddler issues.  It’s also a consistently tired momma who blogs at night and looks forward to wine and homemade pizza on Friday (like, a lot).

Living with a SAHM, a Dad-oo story is a post from: Alli 'n Son

One of my favorite things about being a stay-at-home mom are the milestones. There’s almost no way that I will miss them. The first year alone is filled with so many wonderful things. Smiling. Laughing. Sitting Up. Rolling Over. Baby food. Crawling. Table food. And best of all, walking. Unfortunately, I was a working momma during most of these milestones. I still like to think that I witnessed all of the kiddo’s firsts, but let’s face it, he was in daycare for 9 hours out of the day. There’s a pretty good chance that I missed one or two, but please don’t burst my bubble. I’m happy in my little dream world.

This week marked the beginning and the end. Two milestones that I got to witness firsthand. One of which I’m certain that I would have missed, because it happened slowly.

First, the end.

A few weeks ago, I talked about savoring those little moments. The ones that make up our lives, the moments that we easily overlook and forget. For me, one of those moments is the cozy. The few minutes after bath time, before PJs, where I bundle up my kiddo in his towel, wrap my arms around him, and lift him off the ground, squeezing and rocking, while we both say “cozy, cozy, cozy, cozy”. This always gets a giggle and requests for more cozy. Until this week, when I was denied the cozy. Sadly, I think that this marks the end of his tolerance for mega cuddle time with momma.

And then, the beginning.

It’s not often that I’m woken in the middle of the night by a crying toddler, but this week I was pulled from my slumber by shrill cries. The type of cry that you jump out of bed for. The type of cry that causes you to instantly be awake, even at 3:00 in the morning. As I raced in his room, I was greeted by a sleepy face covered in tears. And whispers of “arrrrrr’s scary”.

I leaned closer, “What’s scary?”

“arrrrrr’s scary”

“Sweetpea, I can’t understand you. What’s scary?”

“Rocka’s scary” (his rocking giraffe)

Well, that’s easy enough to fix. Once Rocka was safely hidden outside of the room, all was right with the world.

The next morning it dawned on me, this was the first time the kiddo was able to tell me why he was crying in the middle of the night. He was able to articulate what was bothering him. He knew how to put his feelings into words. In the toddler world, and in my world, that’s a huge accomplishment. My kiddo, bursting with opinions, emotions and needs, now knows how to express them.

This change happened so slowly, so subtly, that I honestly believe if I didn’t spend my days with him, I would have missed it. I wouldn’t have picked up on the subtle ways that he started filling in his sentences. Using words like the, an, had, I am. But I did notice. I did see the change. I was there to witness if first hand. And for that, I am forever grateful that I am blessed to be a stay-at-home-mom.

This week officially marked the end of my cuddly, needy toddler, and marked the beginning of my independent, willful toddler. And all I can think is, I’m going to miss this.

What stage do you miss the most? Baby? Toddler? Teenagers?

Is This the End or the Beginning? (SAHM Series) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

For the last three weeks we’ve painted rooms, replaced light fixtures, fixed wooden window blinds. Organized our life, and thrown out half of it. We’ve cleaned. Or Lord have we cleaned. All for the official unveiling of our house to the Realtor, and soon to potential buyers. It’s been an exercise of reducing, limiting, organizing and prioritizing. What is more important, these 16 partially color pictures of Elmo (most of the coloring done by me) or a tidy fridge? The fridge wins.

But it’s also been an exercise in reducing the clutter in our lives, not just our material possessions. Realizing that sometimes, to move forward in life, you have to let some things go. It’s almost always sad to see these things go, but in the end, it’s necessary to move on, to grow and to forget. As a stay-at-home mom, I tend to want to do it all, go to each and every playgroup, gathering, outing and craft event. I want to participate in everything. Be everywhere. Not let anyone down. And of course look good while doing it all.

Tossing bits and pieces of my life in the trash has me a little sentimental and reflective. It’s made me realize that I’ve collected a lot in my life, and a lot of it has gathered dust. I’d like to change that. To focus more on what is important. To do what only I can do. And to do it with all of my heart and soul.

My goals in life are changing, for the better. I need to focus more on the kiddo. Teaching him. Guiding him. Loving him. Giving him my full attention instead of a million thoughts pulling me in a million directions. I’m not going to worry about missing a playdate, because of the possibility that a mom and her kid may be there, and I’d really like to get to know them better. Some days, it’s just better to stay at home, to recharge your body, heart and soul, than to just push and push until you melt into a pile of mush at the end of the day. Plus, during those days at home, some pretty mean chocolate chip cookies are made.

So here’s to new beginnings. To a new, simplified, stay-at-home-mom happiness.

How would you change your life, your priorities, if you were going through a major cleaning?

Organizing and Decluttering Life (SAHM Series) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

It has been a crazy roller coaster ride these last few weeks. After months of going back and forth, trying to settle into our new one-income lifestyle and debating over the perils of selling a house right now, we’ve finally decided. We are selling out house! Phew, it feels good to get that off my chest. I’m pretty sure that by putting it out there, we’ll have much luck selling our house quickly, for the price we want. Right? That’s they way it works, isn’t it?

Anywhoo, I won’t bore you with all of the nitty gritty details of getting the house ready to sell. The weekends of painting, replacing and fixing. All of these small things that we didn’t bother to update before, but now that we’re ready to leave the house, it’s somehow vital that it be done. There’s some backwards logic in there someplace.

Anywhoo (yes, again), we’ve gone over budget this month. It was bound to happen, with our 15,000 trips to Menards and The Home Depot. Two cans of paint, three light fixtures, miscellaneous parts, shelves, and maybe a Blizzard or two (hey, you have to stay energized). Oh yes, we have gone over budget.

No big deal, we just cut back over the next few weeks and we’ll be back on track. I figured out a creative way to stretch our food budget for another week (I may have gone a little overboard this week anyway). We’re digging into our freezer, and living out of our pantry for the next week. It will be a good exercise for us, and well, our freezer could stand to be cleaned out. I’m pretty sure that we have food growing ice castles in there.

But again, I digress. With all of the budget cuts and restraints that came up, I’m feeling those green eyes of envy lurking around every corner. Softly whispering in my ear, look at that happy couple out for a date night. Tapping me on the shoulder, look at that woman’s sassy new purse. Then just plain yelling at me, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK an iPhone!!! And You. Can’t. Have. Them. Green eyes, you can be a total “B” sometimes.

Yes, I’m going through a time full of envy. It’s something that I haven’t really encountered since I’ve been a SAHM. We just kind of made the adjustment of going from two incomes to one. The biggest challenge was not being able to save much. Other than that, I was so thrilled to be at home that I didn’t care about the rest. And now, all of a sudden, I do care. I want that date night. I want that purse. I WANT THAT IPHONE. I want. I want. I want. But I can’t have them. I hate being told that I can’t. I’m kind of like a toddler that way. Tantrums and all (can’t you just see it?).

I’m dealing, I guess. The kiddo and I are staying close to home for a while, less money spent on gas, less temptation, less chance for green eyes to find me. We’re finding activities at home to keep us entertained (baking anyone?), using the library even more (love, love, love their selection of Elmo videos). Focusing on the things that we do have: a healthy family, food in the pantry, a roof over our heads and two cuddly pugs to keep us company on those quite nights at home.

We’re keeping those green eyes at bay, but every once in a while they sneak back in. How do you deal with the green eyes?

Green Eyes (SAHM Series) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

The other day, I stumbled on this post by Mckmama. If you don’t know her, you should. She’s amazing. In one life altering post, she wrote all about savoring those small moments in life that pass by too quickly. Those moments that you forget to cherish, the ones that slip under the radar until they are gone. Kids grown up, moved away, moved on. This post made me stop, think, and change how I approach the most mundane tasks of our day.

Bath Time

One of the tasks that I’ve always dreaded is bath time and somehow I usually end up with this chore. At the end of the day, tired, grumpy and often overwhelmed the last thing I want to do prepare a bath for someone other than myself. But I do it anyway, because that’s what being a mother is about. I go through the motions and take a few minutes, while the kiddo is throwing soapy bubbles on the dry floor, to just slip away in my mind, to someplace quite, and dry.

But after reading Mckmama’s post, I learned to savor this moment. To take each small part of it and appreciate it for what it is. The giggles that come from pouring water over a sudsy head, eyes wide and unblinking. The two small hands creating huge waves that send toy ducks and penguins sailing to the other side of the tub. The cheers and “Good joooob” as basketballs are sunk in tub-sized hoops. The “cozy” time when I wrap the kiddo in a towel and in my arms and squeeze him as hard as I can, to shouts of “Again cozy!” These are the moments that I will take with me for the rest of my life. I stop, tuck them away in my mind and smile a sad kind of a smile. For I know that one day, he will grow up, and I’ll only be left with these memories.

Everyday Life

Now I’m making a huge effort to capture each ordinary moment that happens, and put it in a special place my heart and memory. Like the sweet way we rock back and forth together while reading “I’ll Love You Forever” all snuggled together on the couch. The heart warming way the kiddo has of cheering us on, no matter what we are doing. “Good job, Momma!” he exclaims as I throw something in the garbage. The joy and excitement that bursts out of him whenever Dad-oo returns from work, the store or just from being outside. The feel of giant toddler hugs, tiny arms wrapped around my neck, and funny little kisses before bedtime. These are the moments that define my relationship with my son. These are the moments that define me as a mother. And these are the moments that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

What are your favorite every day moments?

What are the things that you will miss most, when the kiddos are all grown? What moments will comfort you in the middle of the night?

A New View (SAHM Series) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

I started out this week intending to whine, complain and just plain feel sorry for myself. You see, I was playing single mom all week. Dad-oo was traveling for business all week. All week. That’s a long time.

I actually had a post all written up. About how hard it was. About how I just needed some time. For myself. About how some days/weeks are harder than others. Whine, whine, whine. I’ll spare you the actual post, it isn’t pretty.

As I was sitting here, feeling sorry for myself, and anxious at the same time (did I mention that I interview Jeff Corwin on Wednesday?), I kept spiraling down and down, with no end in sight. Until the much anticipated, and much stressed over, interview took place. Which went very smoothly I must add. And all of a sudden, snap, I felt like a new person.

I realized that I tend to get trapped in my little world. In all of the problems that I have (too many playgroups and friends who want to see me and the kiddo, poor me!). I get trapped in my mind, my insecurities, my fears and my doubts. And when I get trapped, I have a really hard time getting out.

Unless, I do something that really takes me out of my comfort zone, like interviewing a famous person (I mentioned Jeff Corwin, right?). It doesn’t have to be something huge and life altering, but just something that gets me out of my head, makes me look around and realize that I have it pretty good. I have everything that I need out of life, and more.

I know that this is common, something that happens to everyone, even if we don’t like to talk about it. But for me, I’ve noticed that it has gotten worse since I’ve become a stay-at-home mom. I don’t have a job to pull me out of a slump. All I have is myself and this crazy little kiddo running around my feet, keeping me on my toes. And while that should be enough to snap me out of a slump, it sometimes isn’t (although those big bear hugs don’t hurt).

So from now on, when I feel myself sinking, I’m going to do something new, something that I haven’t done in a long time or something that just give me a quick snap. Sing at the top of my lungs to a song I love. Dance around the living room like a crazy woman. Go to a new restaurant or store. Pack the kiddo up in his snow gear and head out to a park, even if it is only 20º and cloudy outside. Whatever. I’m going to make a conscious effort to be in control of how I feel, and if a bad, spiraling downward day is creeping in, I’m going to shut the door right in it’s face. Take that!

I do have a burning question for the other SAHM’s out there. Do you suffer from the same thing? Have you noticed that it is worse than before you had kids/stayed at home? And most importantly, how do you deal with those days?

Learning to Snap Out Of It (SAHM Series) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

“Momma, uppy. Pa-lease!” finally pulls me from the warmth of my bed. Into the waiting arms and love-filled smile of my child.

Lazy breakfasts, with no place to go. Enjoying bowl after bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. While Elmo waits patiently by.

Finally, sounds of Sesame Street and Elmo’s World fill the house, while the kiddo practices on the potty as I busy myself in the kitchen or start putting the house together.

Swirling colors on endless pages, glue sticks, cut-out hearts and friendly lions. Thoughtful crafts to fill-out the morning.

Graham crackers, ba-na-nas, juice and light chatter with my 2 year old.

Measuring, dumping and listening to the whirl of the bread machine, as the scent of freshly-baked bread fills the house with warmth.

This is why I became a stay-at-home-mom. This is why I love it. These precious moments that I would have missed. This quiet way of bonding through the smallest events of life. These little moments that I would have regretted not being part of. To me, these are the moments that define being a stay-at-home mom. These are the moments I will keep with me for the rest of my life.

I’m a Momversation Guest Blogger!

The Beauty of a quiet Morning (SAHM Series) is a post from: Alli 'n Son