I’ve never known anyone like Stever before and I doubt I’ll meet anyone like him again.  He was one of my best friends and the most loyal person I’ve ever known.  My first vivid memory of our friendship is when Stever walked up to me in the hallway freshmen year of high school and casually jabbed a pencil into my arm.  The pencil entered on the outside of my right arm in the tricep area.  I remember that detail because the graphite is still quite embedded in that exact location and very visible.  How is that a friendship memory and not an “assault victim” memory?  Well the next thing Stever did after retracting the writing utensil out of my limb was to smile and yell out “Hey Mikey!” as if this was a very normal greeting and after the initial spike of  pain receded I remember treating it as such.  We resumed discussions as normal, I don’t even think we talked about the pencil attack at all.  I call it a badge of honor though thinking back I’m still not sure why he thought that was an appropriate greeting or why I agreed with him.   Probably the same reason I thought it was appropriate (and hilarious) to send him a basket of beef jerky and licorice after his jaw was wired shut following a surgery.

While most kids our age spent their time watching sitcoms and sports (or whatever we did to avoid being intellectually stimulated), Stever watched history and military documentaries, The West Wing and played hours of Command and Conquer.  I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me when he joined the Airforce and shipped off to Wyoming to become as he put it “a glorified 911 operator for nuclear missiles”.  It did surprise me though.  Stever joining the military wasn’t an idea I could grasp at that time.  I didn’t understand his motivation or how his mind worked, I guess I was just stuck in the “college is what you do after high school” mode.  The military was just that staff sergeant  (Irwin, Staff Sergeant Irwin was his name) that called every once in a while and attempted to goad us into joining the army so the commies wouldn’t take over.  I wish I could tell you that I learned anything at all from the time Stever joined the Airforce to the time he enlisted in the Army National Guard, but I can’t.  Especially considering the high probability of deployment to Iraq.

There’s no way I have the time or space to review all of my memories of Stever in this one post so I’m going to focus on the one thing that relates most to Memorial Day and what I learned (and continue to learn) from it.  Steve was killed in action 5 days after arriving in the Middle East on July 24, 2006,  as a result of injuries sustained from an IED detonating under his vehicle.  I got the call from a friend while I was at work and after the initial denial stage I was devastated.  I can’t even imagine the impact on his family, Steve was an only child.  Stever’s life was celebrated at a packed memorial service with great speeches from his family and friends.  The service was concluded by a full procession of bagpipes.  In case you didn’t think a group of bagpipes could sneak up on anyone, think again.  The several of us facing the back of the auditorium saw them walk in, the others (and there were many) never saw it coming.  The emotional resonance of 10 or more bagpipers belting out surprise Amazing Grace is indescribable.

So after all of this, after the pain and the grief and almost 4 years later thinking about Stever on a near daily basis, I think I may have also learned something.  I never said I was smart but I occasionally pick up on something if it’s right in front of me for years.  Stever was a defender.  There aren’t many of them, and maybe we need more but Stever was doing this to defend his country and the people in it.  The people who can’t or won’t do it for themselves.  The people who’s idea of a “warrior” is the guy who puts on pads and a helmet and tosses a ball around for a couple hours every week.  The people who celebrate being free and safe by taking it for granted.  The people who considered military service about as long as they considered building a raft and shoving off into the Atlantic ocean after high school.  Me.

It took me a long time but I better understand Stever’s “go hard or go home” attitude, his “shut the ____ up and do it” mantra, the feeling that he couldn’t relate to civilian life after coming home, and the anguish he felt (and displayed) at so many people’s lack of perspective, especially those who bashed military members because they were more interested in partisan bickering and shaky ideals.  I say “better understand” because another thing I learned is that no matter how much I tried to empathize with Stever, I could never understand what he went through or what he was going through.  Not without doing what he did or having his perspective on life.  So on Memorial Day the best I can do is remember and be mindful.  Remember my dear friend and what he did for his country and be mindful that I at least try to be a civilian who is aware.

I would say Rest in Peace Stever, but I think that’s the last thing you would want.  Cause some damage wherever you are.

Thanks for listening.  Happy Memorial Day.

A Memorial Day Memory is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Eli’s second birthday was last week and even though he had two other full days to get spoiled rotten and filled with sugary garbage I (Dad-oo) felt that if he didn’t consume some sort of cake-like creation on his birthday the world would implode.

Nerd Note: There was a good chance the world would implode anyway.  The mad scientists over at Cern decided to reactivate their doomsday device  on the 30th as well.  Coincidence?  Probably not. Oh, if you don’t know Cern, they are the group responsible for creating the Large Hadron Ion Collider (LHC), the machine many thought would turn the Earth into a black hole when activated.  You may have heard about it in the news; if not I’m probably boring you with science stuff so I’ll get back to the Pancake Cake.  If you don’t know if the LHC turned our planet into a black hole check out www.HasTheLHCDestroyedTheEarth.com.

Getting back to the point I, the proud creator of the Pancake-Cake, again utilized my culinary skills to cook and assemble a dessert that Eli would very much appreciate and NOT just mush up into unrecognizable fistfuls of  sugary clumps and jam into his mouth.

A quick refresher course in Pancakecakeology (that was subject of my college term paper):

1. Mix and cook some delicious fluffy pancakes.
   
2. Layer the pancakes and put jelly in between each layer.  I used strawberry jelly and three pancakes.  Last year I used two pancakes.  I plan on using one more pancake every year so his 40th birthday should be LEGENDARY.
3. Make sure the edges match somewhat for easier frosting.
4. Frost the bajeezus out of it.  I used both chocolate and vanilla frosting.
   
5. I ended up making Eli a Zen Pancake-Cake because Eli is so into calm meditation and self reflection.
   
6. We presented the Pancake-Cake to Eli
7. He fully appreciated the hard work and creativity that went into…ok, he mushed it up into unrecognizable fistfuls of  sugary clumps and jammed it into his mouth.
   

Pancake-Cake

3-5 pancakes, using your favorite pancake recipe (or this Whole-Grain Oatmeal Blueberry recipe would be great too)
Strawberry, raspberry, grape or your favorite jam
White and chocolate frosting (from the can is fine, or try perhaps this recipe for The Best Frosting I’ve Ever Had)
Sprinkles – optional

Cook 3-5 pancakes, approximately 4″ round, according to the recipe. Place one pancake on a plate, spread with the jam of your choice. Repeat layers with the remaining pancakes. Once the cake has been assembled, cover with frosting. Decorate as you wish (sprinkles are a nice addition).

Finally, present to the not-so-patiently waiting birthday boy or girl. Watch their eyes light up as their face is instantly covered in frosting goodness.

This recipe is part of the Mouthwatering Monday Blog Carnival over at A Southern Fairytale. Stop by for more mouthwatering recipes.

The Second Anniversary of The Pancake-Cake (by Dad-oo) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Well hello!  It’s been a while since I’ve guest posted but my lovely wife made the mistake of giving me a username and password so I’m back.  I figured I’d give my perspective about living with a SAHM, or at least this particular one.

First of all it is very comforting to know that Eli is with Allison all day.  Don’t get me wrong we had wonderful daycare providers and they did a great job with Eli, but now if I want to know how he’s doing or what they are doing together I can just call or better yet use Google Chat to ask.  Sometimes she even responds! On top of that they can visit me at work or I can stop by and see them at lunch if I want to.

It’s also nice to know that staying at home with Eli makes her so happy.  I don’t mean that it’s not a challenge at times or she and Eli are having a party every day all day…oh man, I bet they’re partying every day with out me.  I quit work!  I want to party!  No seriously though, even though staying at home makes her happy that doesn’t mean it’s easy.  So one thing I have had to get used to is coming home to a usually exhausted, sometimes unresponsive and occasionally extra sassy wife.  Wait is “extra sassy” a synonym for “crabby”?  No?  Then I mean crabby.

So my weeknights are filled with a hyper toddler and a tired mother who is usually very willing to hand me the aforementioned toddler for some bonding time with Dad-oo.  They are also filled with a lot more organization than usual with all the planned meal lists, momma and Eli activities and bedtime rituals.  What is really great is to hear and see everything Eli is learning and know that he is doing so right at home with his family.

I guess I can summarize by saying that living with a SAHM is the comfort of knowing that Eli is romping around town with his mother, a wife who is happier and more fulfilled spending the days raising Eli, and a Dad-oo who gets to spend the majority of my nights jabbering with a toddler about today’s toddler issues.  It’s also a consistently tired momma who blogs at night and looks forward to wine and homemade pizza on Friday (like, a lot).

Living with a SAHM, a Dad-oo story is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Sad Mr. Wesley, Momma's First Baby

Mr. Wesley here.  I’m hungry and-ooh a pedestrian….RAWRARARARARARAR…RAR!  BOWF!  BOWF! Oops.  Got yelled at by dad again.  I just can’t control myself.  They get especially mad when I wake up that little hairless puppy from his nap.  But I mean, there are people walking right in front of the house!  Who else is going to show them what’s what?

You know, I used to be center spotlight in this household.  Every one would laugh when I spun in circles and tried to catch my piggy tail, they thought my wrinkles were hilarious, and if I wanted a lap to nap in you can bet I got one.  Then one day, mom started to get bigger.  Well naturally I didn’t want to say anything; I know how sensitive women can be about their weight but I started losing cuddle space by her belly.  You can imagine how miffed I was when mom and dad booted Akemi and me off of the bed completely.  We were like, whaaaat!?! Our new home ended up being a crusty old pad in the kitchen, and we couldn’t even get at the food.  Granted we were the ones who made it crusty with our normal pug related activity, but still.

Time passed, Mom’s belly got bigger and–hold on Akemi wants to say something:

Carrots.  I want carrots.  Or apples, do you have any apples?  Are we talking about that fleshy thing mom and dad brought home?  He tastes delicious.  Where’s he at?  I want a snack, and he always leaves most of his on his face or even better in his diaper.  Sausages?  Can I have sausages?  Ooh Dad!  Drop something!  Can I have second dinner?  Treats?   I’m huuuunnngrrryy!  Let me outside so I can scavenge for mushrooms, they were only poisonous twice

Sassy and Hungry Akemi

Ok, get off Kem.  Let me finish.  And stop licking me there!  You’re my sister!  It’s not food!

As I was saying…so one night Mom and Dad take off and the next day they come back with this bundle of stuff that makes a lot of noise.  Well the first thing Kem and I think is “ooh, I wonder how it tastes” so we both took a sample lick before Dad could yell at us.  Not bad at all, I bet it will be fun to play with.  Psshh.  Let me tell you we pugs had the wool pulled over our eyes!  Tricked.  Bamboozled!

Let me try to explain it to you with a comparison, since you humans are a little slow.  That squirmy whiny thing they call “Eli” is like his own planet.  Whenever mom is walking anywhere and I think she’s going to stop and give me attention (or even look in my direction), she is inexplicably pulled toward the spotlight stealer by a gravitational force greater than the freaking sun.  So I guess he’s more like the sun than a planet.  See where I’m going with this?  Everything revolves around Eli.  Whatever.  I used to be the sun.  Now I’m like,  Saturn.  I bet you didn’t know that pugs are well versed in planet names.

Well, mom now spends every moment of every day she’s at home firmly focused on the little human who seems to be turning more big human like every day.  I’m starting to feel a little out matched!  The other day he hit me in my gigantic bottom teeth with this hard thing on his leg. I was just trying to give him kisses!

At least dad gives us some attention.  He romps around with us sometimes, and lets us sit on his lap while he makes the TV do stuff.  I think he calls it Xbox.  I wonder if he sees mom roll her eyes and shake her head whenever he says “Xbox”?

Every once in a while mom lets us romp on her and then snuggle in to her for a nice nap and a head scratch, but it’s a little rare.  Usually dad prods her and points at her to remind us.  I guess even after the little guy goes to bed he still have some sort of mental gravity grabbing her attention away.  Oh well, at least there’s only one of them.  They would never have two.  They just wouldn’t do that to us!

Hold on, Kemi wants to type again:

Mushrooms?

Get off Kem!

*sigh*  Nobody loves this sad lonely pug.

I’m off to go sulk until dad plays Xbox.  They gave me a nickname recently, I’m not sure what it means.  Eeyore.

And who is this Dad-oo guy they keep yelling about?

*Snooooorrt* Pug Post! is a post from: Alli 'n Son

I will take you through a pictorial creation process:

1. Eli frets.  What is a birthday boy to do without concentrated sugar to ingest?

   

2. The ingredients:  Allison created pancakes, Simply Fruit Jelly, Frosting, Sprinkles.  It’s like breakfast’s worst nightmare.  See the jelly is ALL fruit thus rendering the entire cake healthy.  Yes.

   

3. Trim the pancakes to allow for an easy frosting process.  Is that a green sphere with legs in the background?  Yes.
4. Apply jelly layer to cake and place pieces together.  This can be repeated until you have as tall a Pancake Cake as you wish.  Eli is only 1 so the size of the cake is directly proportional to how long we want to be chasing after a crazed toddler on a cake binge. Also, did Zorro carve his initials in my jelly?
5. 
6. Frost cake.  
7. Deploy sprinkles and cut a slice of completed cake. 
8. Present the Pancake Cake to the birthday boy.
9. Om Nom Nom!

There it is.  Super easy cake for people who don’t actually want to bake a cake.  It’s pretty good too.  In fact, Eli’s face in the above picture says, “If you try to take my Pancake Cake, I will destroy you with my mind powers”.

Completely separate topic:  here is a conversation Eli and I had in the car today:

Eli: “Dad-oo.”

Dad-oo: “Eli”

Eli: “Dad-oo.”

Dad-oo: “Eli”

Eli: “Dad-oo!”

Dad-oo: “Eli!”

Eli:  “Daaaaaaaaaa-Dooooooo!”

Dad-oo:  “Eeeeeeellllllliiiiiiii!”

Eli:  “Ptttthhhhhhh!” (the sound for a raspberry)

Dad-oo:  “Ptttttthhhhhhh!”

Eli:  “Pttttthhhhhhh!”

Dad-oo:  “Pttth!  Ptttthhhh!”

Eli: [10 seconds of laughter]

And repeat about 5 times.

Best conversation I had all day.

Dad-oo out!

Pancake + Cake = Pancake Cake. is a post from: Alli 'n Son

After I picked up Eli from day care today, I took him to one of his favorite post day care locations:  the grocery store.  Why is it one of his favorite places?  Well because the bakery lady hands him a big pre-dinner sugar injection (cookie) to stuff his face with.

Whilst Eli was nomming on his cookie, Dad-oo decided to peruse the entire store for ingredients that would eventually be combined to make a recipe I will for the moment call:  The Opposite of a Wad of Sugar And Dough.

Since momma has been rocking the baked goods, I decided to try something a little different.  It is a complex culinary technique that has been passed through the ages, probably since before the dawn of the Roman Empire.  True story.  That storied (true storied, if you will) technique is taking a pants load of different veggies and fruit, jamming them into a blender, and hoping they don’t make your toddler spray disgusting juice concoction all over the house, the pugs, your face, his back and of course the TV.

I’ll include the recipe at the end, but I’d like to cover the ingredients I picked and why.  First the veggies.  I picked the veggies partly based on nutrition, but also based on lighter flavors that wouldn’t clash with the sweet stuff I added.

1. Pea Pods (B, C, A Vitamins, Fiber)
2. Cucumber (Potassium)
3. Carrots (A,C,E,K Vitamins, Fiber and a wheel barrow of other good stuff)
4. Beets (C,E Vitamins, Potassium, Manganese, Folate)

Yeah, I said beets.  I think I got the idea from one of the coolest shows in the history of television, The Iron Chef (old school or America).  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a TV series mix serious business with tongue-in-cheek so well before.   The chefs often use beets as a main ingredient in desserts since they are slightly sweet, though eaten alone they are evil as represented by the plant kingdom.  Now the sweet stuff.

1. One kiwi
2. Mango Melon Sobe Lifewater
3. Cinnamon apple sauce

I chose Lifewater because with all of the sugar already present from both the veggies and the fruit, I didn’t want to add any more than I had to.  Remember, this kid just got punched in the blood stream by a cookie. Lifewater uses Reb A (stevia) sweetener, a plant extract that I have no reason to mistrust any more than sugar (another plant extract).  I think it’s a better option than its fellow sweeteners, the lab mutants:  aspartame and sucralose.  Also Lifewater is awesome.

Ok, now for the proportions. No wait!  First I have to name it.  Hmmm….  Liquid Awesome, Toddler Jet Fuel, Pug Juice, Health Injection, In Your Face V8?  I choose…

A contained sample of Toddler Jet Fuel

Toddler Jet Fuel (batch 1)

6 Pea Pods
4 to 5 Slices of Cucumber
4-5 Baby Carrots
5 Canned (no added sugar) Beet Slices
1 Kiwi
2 Splashes of Mango Melon Lifewater (probably less than 1/8 of the bottle)
2-3 Spoonfuls of Cinnamon Apple Sauce

Incredibly Difficult Instructions:  Chop up the veggies and kiwi, dump them in a blender, liquefy the bejeezus out of them until there are no chunks floating around.  If a picky toddler sees a green veggie chunk you will soon have Toddler Jet Fuel on your face.

Modifications:  I poured half of the first batch into a glass, and added another serving of each of the veggies, the Lifewater, the apple sauce to the remaining juice in the blender.  I then added three spoonfuls of strawberry yogurt and some sliced bananas.

Results:  Eli drank with equal voraciousness from both batches and just as importantly, no jet fuel was strewn about the room.  The beets gave the mixture a deep red color and overall it tasted like some unspecified berry smoothie (not nearly as good of a name as jet fuel).  A word of caution:  Put a bib on and keep it away from valuables.  It is messy and beet juice stains everything.  Maybe give it to your kid in the tub.

Eli’s Comments:  “cup”.  “more please”. “Da-Doo is the next Iron Chef“.  He really said that.

All in all I call this a veggies challenge success as well as the arch nemesis of the other food I created for Eli.  The Pancake Cake.  That post to follow at a later (but very close) date.

DAD-OO SUITS UP FOR THE VEGGIES CHALLENGE is a post from: Alli 'n Son