I did it. I survived week three. And yes, survived is the correct word. And I’ve learned one very big lesson this week. I. CAN. NOT. DO. IT. ALL. Let me say that one more time, just to drive home the fact (this is more of a reminder for myself than anything else). I can not do it all. I almost feel like I’m entering a 12 step program. Well, actually it’s more like a 2 step program.
Step One: Admit my weakness and inability to do everything, to be everywhere, to entertain everyone and to look fantastic every step of the way.
Step Two: Give myself a break.
If only it was that easy.
I know that I briefly mentioned this topic in last week’s post, but it really hit home this week. Or more specifically on Wednesday. I’ve always wanted to do it all. Call it perfectionism. Call it not wanting to bother others. Call it an excuse to eat some extra chocolate.
In my past working life, I was known for taking on too many projects at once, and not asking others to help out. It’s not that I didn’t think they could do it, but sometimes it just didn’t occur to me to ask. The same habits have followed me into the SAHM life. I want to attend all of the playgroups and story times (they are getting easier every time we go). I want to make the kiddo a healthy lunch everyday. I want to clean the house and have it in perfect working order. I want to have dinner ready or cooking when the hubby gets home. I want to be happy and cheerful everyday.
Then Wednesday hit. Two over-active pugs with pent up energy, one toddler who is starting to test his limits, one bad story time (we were the only ones who showed up), one overtired momma. All of that adds up to stress, frustration, a kiddo who won’t eat lunch because of a teeny tiny piece of “green” and a momma on the verge of collapse. It was actually my mom who pointed out to me that I can’t do it all, try as I might. That’s when it finally sunk in. I know that I can’t do it all, but that really didn’t stop me from trying, without even realizing that I was doing it. And the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?
What am I willing to let go in order to save my mind? It’s going to have to be the perfect house (not that ours was perfect to being with). Who cares if the dishes from breakfast aren’t done before dinner? Or even before bedtime. Who cares if the counter is overflowing with mail and other stuff that hasn’t found a home yet. Who cares if the dishwasher hasn’t been emptied, or if there are baskets of clean laundry on the floor (at least it’s clean, right)? I don’t care. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, until the clutter and chaos gets to me and I dedicate a day week to reorganizing, just to keep my sanity in tact.
I’m also willing to give up attending each and every mommy and me outing, all of the story times and every single playgroup. Our social life is getting out of control. Maybe we’ll cut it down to two or three a week. Throw in swimming lessons and our schedule fills out nicely. And besides, I can only stomach so many mommy gatherings in one week.
I also have to remember to not give up on a few things. Like breathing. Deep, calm, yoga-breathing. Eating, maybe even breakfast. Making the kiddo giggle uncontrollably. Enjoying this time that I have with him. Acting like a kid again. And of course, chocolate.
It’s your turn Mommas. What have you given up? Do you have any suggestions to help me do it all, but not sacrifice m sanity?
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